How I Was Awarded Sole Conservatorship in Texas & How My Ex-Spouse Got Supervised Visitation—Again

In February 2025, I went to court representing myself and was awarded sole conservatorship of my child. My ex-spouse was placed on supervised visitation again.

Before that ruling, the last time he had seen our child in person was November 23, 2020. From that visit through the February 2025 proceeding, he had not seen our child in person again—a period of more than four years.

I showed up with four binders prepared with evidence, exhibits, receipts, messages, and prior court documents, along with a flash drive.

He had been served with court papers. He did not file an answer or counterpetition, and he did not show up.

I proceeded without him. I testified, presented my evidence, and explained the history that brought us there. The judge kept one of my binders, entered a default judgment, and awarded me sole conservatorship.

At the end, the judge said, “Thanks for your preparedness.”

I did all of this without an attorney.

But to understand how I got to that courtroom, you have to understand what happened over the years leading up to it. There were unanswered messages, updates about our child’s autism diagnosis and therapies, invitations to visit, and conversations about travel that never turned into an actual visit.

I saved those messages because I wanted an accurate record of my efforts and his responses.

This is my experience and what I presented. The court’s signed orders contain the actual terms of conservatorship and visitation.

The communication issues started long before 2020.

My screenshots go back to 2018.

On October 1, 2018, I told him that I had mailed a letter about our relocation and new address to both addresses I had for him. I did that because I did not know where he was actually living.

He asked what the letter was about. I explained, and he responded, “Cool.”

On October 4, he told me he would not be seeing our child that weekend.

I continued sending pictures and updates. I notified him of address changes in November 2018 and February 2019. In January 2019, I sent videos and an update about something our child had participated in.

I was keeping him informed about where our child lived and what was happening in his life.

When our child was diagnosed with autism, I reached out.

On June 27, 2019, I informed him that our child had been diagnosed with autism and would need several therapies.

I explained what his schedule and needs looked like. I also told him that if he wanted to see him, he could come to Atlanta, or we could discuss meeting in a state between us.

There is no response to that message in the screenshots I saved.

In August, I contacted him about the cost of our child’s therapies. Our divorce decree addressed the division of medical expenses, and I referenced that provision when asking him to contribute.

He responded on August 21.

His response focused on my contacting his parents, his objection to paying an amount without documentation, and his position that he would communicate only through court-monitored communications.

I responded because the information I was sending concerned our child’s care. I explained that his parents had asked for updates and had offered assistance. I also pointed out that his message did not ask about our child’s diagnosis or address scheduling a visit.

Then I sent the therapy documentation.

I offered him the option of paying the provider directly. I followed up with additional information about evaluations and expenses.

I was trying to get our child’s needs addressed while keeping his father informed and involved.

There was some communication in 2020, and I want to be clear about that.

During 2020, he did ask about calls, and we exchanged messages arranging times for him to speak with our child.

I responded and helped coordinate those conversations.

In one exchange, he said that supervised visitation limited what he could do because of the distance. There was already an active Virginia supervised visitation order.

I encouraged him to FaceTime our child.

He said he felt uncomfortable with me holding the phone during their conversation. I explained that our child could not simply hold the phone himself because it caused sensory overload.

That was part of accommodating our child’s needs. Sometimes helping him communicate required me to assist.

There were messages in August and September about scheduling calls, postponing a call, and finding another time.

Those exchanges are part of the history, too. I am not going to leave them out just because the relationship later became more difficult.

November 2020 was the last in-person visit before the sole conservatorship ruling.

We were living in Georgia, but I told him we would be visiting Norfolk in November.

Our child had been asking about him, and I wanted them to have time together.

I followed up about which day he wanted to meet. We discussed times and locations. I considered what would work for our child, including whether a place would be too loud or crowded.

We eventually arranged the visit for November 23, 2020.

The messages show us coordinating the meeting and confirming our arrival. Afterward, he sent photographs and videos.

He also said:

“Thank you so much! I definitely have to see him again.”

Despite that message, he did not see our child in person again before I was awarded sole conservatorship in February 2025.

There had been a child support court proceeding that morning, which he did not attend. The next day, I informed him that a failure-to-appear capias had been issued.

He responded that he had not known about the court date and questioned why I had not told him beforehand.

I explained that I had kept that conversation separate from the visit because that was our child’s time with him. I did not want their visit to become an argument about court.

Our messages show that we disagreed about notice. The court records establish the service history and what the court issued.

After that November visit, there was an extended period without telephone or in-person contact between him and our child. He eventually resumed communication in February 2024, but there were still no further in-person visits before the February 2025 ruling.

I kept reaching out.

I continued sending messages because our child continued asking about him.

On December 6, 2020, I told him that our child had asked where he was and when he would see him. I asked when he planned to come visit him in his own environment.

No response is shown.

On March 30, 2021, I told him that our child kept asking about him and wanted to give him a hug.

No response is shown.

On July 22, 2021, I sent a skateboarding update because that was something his father could relate to.

No response is shown.

On August 19, 2021, I told him that our child had mentioned him to his speech therapist and had said more than once that he wanted to see him.

No response is shown.

On April 9, 2022, I told him our child had woken up saying he wanted to see him.

Again, no response is shown.

On April 29, 2022, I contacted him from my new number. I told him we no longer lived in Atlanta and had moved to Dallas, Texas. I encouraged him to come see our child and sent photographs.

A read indicator appears beneath the attachments, but there is no written response in that exchange.

I sent videos on May 10 and July 17, 2022. There are no responses shown to those updates either.

When I say “no response shown,” I am describing the screenshots. My experience during that period was that he was not calling or visiting our child.

I was still answering our child’s questions. I was still hearing that he wanted to see his father. I was still deciding whether to send another message and try again.

I allowed contact with his family, too.

While we were in Georgia, I allowed our child to spend time with his paternal grandfather and his grandfather’s wife when they were traveling for a family birthday celebration in South Carolina.

When I asked where my ex-spouse and our child’s older sibling were, I was told that he did not want to come or allow the sibling to come.

That is my recollection of the conversation.

I wanted our child to have relationships with his family. I was willing to make those opportunities happen.

Then I saw the travel posts and reviews.

One of the things I documented was the difference between the travel he described publicly and the difficulty of getting him to travel to see our child.

In a Google review, he described a car purchase dated May 19, 2018.

He wrote about driving from Virginia to Pennsylvania, flying from Philadelphia to Detroit, purchasing a car, and driving it back to Virginia.

That trip happened before the extended absence beginning in November 2020. I am clear about that date.

But it showed that he had experience making arrangements, traveling between states, getting on a plane, and driving a long distance for something he wanted.

Another review described searching for a particular vehicle, contacting a dealership, placing a deposit, and coordinating a long-distance purchase.

A September 26, 2020 Instagram post also referenced traveling to Cleveland. In a comment, he said he was buying a car near the airport.

When I read those descriptions, I thought about the time, communication, and planning involved.

I wanted to understand why arranging a visit with our child so often stopped at a conversation.

I understand that circumstances can change. A past trip does not tell me everything about someone’s current finances. But these were his own accounts of travel he had completed, and I had questions about the difference in follow-through.

He posted about Atlanta while we were living in Georgia.

This part stood out to me because of the dates.

On August 19, 2021, I told him our child had been asking about him and wanted to see him.

An Instagram post dated August 26 showed a location tag for Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. Another dated August 29 included “ATL.”

I cannot tell you from an airport tag how long he was there or whether he left the airport.

What I can tell you is that I had just reached out about our child wanting to see him, his posts referenced Atlanta, and no visit with our child was arranged.

That was painful to see.

He had also traveled to Dallas before we moved there.

A February 21, 2021 post was tagged in Dallas. The caption described being in Houston and Dallas during the winter storm.

We had not moved to Texas yet. My April 2022 message notified him of our move.

I am including the Dallas post because it documents earlier travel to the city where we later lived. I am not claiming our child was already living there when he made that post.

Other screenshots referenced Orlando, Chicago, Disney, airports, and a vehicle dealership visit.

I looked at those posts alongside my messages asking about contact.

I could see public accounts of travel. Meanwhile, our child’s in-person relationship with his father remained at a standstill.

In February 2024, he contacted me again.

When he resurfaced in February 2024, I responded.

He asked how our child was doing. He asked about talking. I made time and helped arrange communication with our child.

After everything that had happened, I still responded to the opportunity for them to communicate.

The later messages cover 2024 and 2025. Some screenshots show a month and day without the year, so I am keeping those exchanges in sequence without pretending every year is visible.

During this period, we discussed calls, school, gifts, and possible visits.

He also reached out about things happening in his own life.

He wanted to ask me about his divorce.

In one April exchange, he asked if he could ask me a personal question.

I asked whether it concerned our child.

He said it was about the divorce process.

He wanted to know what my divorce had cost and whether the amount I mentioned had been required upfront. He discussed an amount he was considering paying for his own case.

In a May 24 exchange, he asked about hiring a private investigator.

My understanding was that these conversations related to the breakdown of his subsequent relationship. The messages show his questions about divorce costs and investigative help.

What stood out to me was that he could reach out, ask questions, and coordinate a conversation when he needed help navigating something in his own life.

I wanted that same consistent effort directed toward building a relationship with our child.

I gave him opportunities to visit.

In another exchange, he expressed interest in having lunch with our child at school.

I was open to it.

I clarified that we were in Dallas and gave him the school dates. I told him the graduation date. I even mentioned a possible travel option through the military base in Fort Worth.

That was something I suggested he look into. It was not a guarantee that he could use it or that a flight would be available.

He discussed other court dates and airline preferences.

Later, I followed up and asked whether he had looked at flights.

There was discussion about coming. The messages do not show a confirmed booking, and the proposed visit did not turn into an in-person visit with our child.

That was the issue I kept coming back to. We could discuss dates and possibilities, but our child still was not seeing him.

I continued sharing our child’s life with him.

There were positive exchanges, and I recognize those.

He agreed to get a butterfly kit our child wanted and later said it was on the way.

He sent me a Mother’s Day message thanking me for what I did as a mother. Part of it said:

“For all that you do, big & small, you do it gracefully and it does not go unnoticed.”

I thanked him.

I sent school photographs. He asked whether it was our child’s first day, and I answered.

I also invited him to join us for our child’s birthday trip to California. I extended that invitation to his family as well.

There is no written response to that invitation shown in the screenshots.

I kept sharing milestones and offering ways for him to participate. My concern was whether those opportunities would lead to a consistent relationship.

Later, he began asking about school and insurance.

When he asked which school our child attended, I told him.

I also questioned why he was asking at that point, after such a long period without seeing him.

He responded that he had a right to know and said our child would see him daily if we had not moved.

I disagreed.

From my experience, the history included missed opportunities before and after our relocations. Moving did not explain every unanswered message or every visit that never happened.

I also explained that if he intended to visit the school, I needed advance notice so I could prepare our child and coordinate with the staff.

Our child has autism. A sudden appearance after years of separation needed thought and preparation. I was considering how that encounter could affect him during the school day and afterward.

There were also questions about insurance and medical expenses.

I believed some of those requests were connected to the child support proceedings. He denied that.

That was my interpretation, and it was something we disagreed about. What I wanted to know was when he planned to start showing up consistently for our child.

I told him about the upcoming custody hearing.

In a November exchange, I notified him about the February 11 custody hearing and told him to expect service of the petition.

He responded that he already received court letters and emails and did not need me to inform him.

I also attempted to coordinate mediation.

I sent my availability, asked when he was available, and followed up with information about a Zoom option, estimated costs, and splitting the fee.

No response to those messages is shown.

I was trying to move the case forward and give him an opportunity to participate.

Then I prepared for court.

I went through years of communications.

I organized messages about addresses, our child’s diagnosis, therapy expenses, calls, visits, school, travel, and the attempts to coordinate mediation.

I included the responses he sent. I included the exchanges where my messages went unanswered. I included the public posts and reviews I believed were relevant, along with prior court documents.

I prepared four binders and a flash drive.

When the hearing came in February 2025, he had been served, but he did not file an answer or counterpetition and did not appear.

I went forward representing myself.

I testified. I presented my evidence. The judge kept a binder.

A default judgment was entered, and I was awarded sole conservatorship. His visitation was supervised again.

By that point, more than four years had passed since his November 2020 in-person visit with our child.

I cannot tell you that one particular screenshot caused the outcome or put words in the judge’s mouth about the reasons for the ruling. I can tell you what I presented and what happened in my case.

The order did not erase what it took to get there.

I was the parent handling the daily responsibilities throughout those years.

I was arranging therapies, communicating with schools, managing routines, paying expenses, and helping our child through the questions that came with his father’s absence.

I was also sending the updates and asking about visits.

Getting the order gave structure to a situation that had involved years of uncertainty. It did not erase the effort, frustration, or emotional weight behind it.

Supervised visitation provided a way for contact to happen under the court’s terms. I wanted our child’s needs and stability to remain central as that relationship was addressed.